Thursday, December 25, 2008

(Lila) Faith, Hope, and Luck of the Draw

Earlier in the week I read of a baby who was born very prematurely. He is facing an uphill road, but one that is passable. I follow the blog of micropremie twins , who were born shortly after their parents found out they were having twins. 24 weeks! Can you imagine finding out you're getting two babies late in the game and then giving birth very shortly thereafter?!? The girls are happy little people, but it broke my heart to hear about this new little baby.

Yesterday, on Christmas Eve, I found out a little newborn baby had been born, two days prior, with a heart defect, but was fighting. Last night I learned she died. The parents didn't find out about the defect until a few weeks ago; they thought everything was progressing fine.

These little babies have been on my mind all week. I had the best pregnancy, the best twin pregnancy in the books. And despite a scare or two, my guys were always fine and thriving. 38 weeks and they wouldn't leave! Birthed the way I wanted and breastfed from hour one. I'm feeling so thankful that life for me and these boys has been good. I can't say blessed because that doesn't fit...but we're lucky. Though we lost two little ones along the way, they were so little our lives hadn't been formed around them. There is no "meant to be" or "given what we can handle", there is only a healthy today and hope for a healthy tomorrow.

In addition to the ill babies, a women was in a car accident and is currently in a coma. Brittanie's mom was in an accident two Halloweens ago and I've tried to be the best friend I can be to Britt over the last year. I've learned so much about the brain and comas and recovery and how one decision or press of the gas pedal can change so many lives. I hope and pray that the boys (all three of them) and I have the most pedestrian, safe lives. And I try to ignore that it's just how things go sometimes.

I was telling Mike about the first baby the other day, and he asked me why I would want to risk having another. And maybe he's right; it's not worth the chance. I'm not sold on a third, but wasn't ready to give it up yet. But now, well, maybe my ducks have hatched and I need to thank my lucky stars for the life we have.

Guess who got extra squeezes last night?

Come back Friday afternoon for a fun post about sledding and all four boys (Brittanie's and mine). All of whom are healthy and happy.


Mama Peach said...

I'll have to go check out the blog. I feel very lucky with all my babies having been born premature and spending time in the NICU, that all are thriving and healthy.

dadair said...

Just want to say I'm proud of you, Lindsay, for having the wisdom to value your good fortune, rather than taking it for granted.